Check this out, would ya? Those three boxes there, there are millions of dollars of happiness in those. Thousands of hours of work went into six hours of film that’ll bring in millions of hours of entertainment. Look at ‘em just sitting there in those trashy boxes, out in the open here, like nobody cared about them, like they weren’t worth a dollar. Millions of dollars of cinema there, both ways. Investment and return. Millions in, millions out. Crazy business, isn’t it?
Which three films? Good question. Let’s see, we’ve got ‘Transformers 3’, ‘Midnight in Paris’, and ‘The Zookeeper’. Odd, right? A real rogue’s galley. No, I’m pretty sure it’s galley, not gallery. I was an English major, y’know. I think I’d know a little bit about English. Whatever, the point is, they’re just sitting there next to each other, like they were trying to be a microcosm of cinema or a cross-section of Americana or something – right out in the open where anyone could take them. I mean, you and I, we could just pick one up and walk out of here. They’re really not that heavy, and they’re not that hard to sell either. I know a guy who would pay good money for them. Hey, which way is the door out of here? Back behind that corner? Okay, quick, give me a hand with these before someone notices us. I’ll grab ‘Transformers’, you grab ‘Midnight in Paris’. What? No, of course we’re not taking ‘The Zookeeper’. Are you nuts? We’re trying to sell these, ya putz. Heh, yeah, I did rhyme, didn’t I? Nuts and putz. Heh. Open the trunk, this box is getting heavy. I’m curious, what all do they put in here?
Oh shit. These boxes are empty. These fucking boxes are empty, and we’re fucking locked outside. Shit. Shit shit shit. They have us on camera. They have us on fucking camera. We can’t just drive away with them, they’ll call the police on us. Oh, fuck man, we’re fucked.
Okay, wait, I got an idea. We’ll just carry them inside, we’ll say we found them sitting out in the parking lot. Sound good? Take off your jacket there, just in case they check us against the cameras. Take off your hat, too. Yeah, there we go. We’ll just walk in all smooth-like, feed the man our story, hand him the boxes, and walk right back out. You ready?
Wait, what do you mean they have cameras out back here too? … Hey, do you hear sirens?
Oh, it’s just a fire truck.
… And a cop car behind him pulling in. Let’s get the fuck out of here, man. Leave the boxes. Go go go go go!